Arthritic Critic

I think bullets would be best for a quick update. * May, June and July - lots of shots in my back and neck, not much help. Pretty much the same story as when I quit posting * August - the month I turned 40. Joe took me to the city...told me he was totally going to get my mind off my doctoring...then took me to a hotel with the same name as my surgeon..doh! Broke up with my BFF. Sometimes once words are out there you just can't take them back. It was a really hard lesson and still hurts. * September - Had a rhizotomy instead of going to Italy. For those of you who don't know what that is, they zap the nerves in your neck so you can't feel them anymore. I had 4 of the biggest holes in my neck. I was in the zone and didn't feel any of them...sedation is a wonderful thing. It worked well...now I just have shoulder and jaw pain and the neck is nicely quiet! * October - I had my first back surgery (a fusion). Lots of complications, 2 seizures (or some such nonsense), a reacti...

Ok, so I have one more funny story to tell you before I update what is going on in my life... Last week Joe and I flew to Ohio to visit Cleveland Clinic for my RA. I've recently had 2 back surgeries. One in October and one in November to have my back fused (I'll tell you more about this later). So this is the first time I have flown since I've had the screws in my back and foot (remind me to tell you about airport security...I'm pretty sure I'm dating a girl there after a 15 minute pat down and a grope or two). Anyway....I get into my seat in the airplane and I see this 40ish year old guy sitting next to me. I'm thinking no big deal...he'll leave me alone on the flight (this is after George Lopez drove us to the airport...seriously, why must you talk to me when I have my head back against the seat and my eyes closed). So we take off and it's a 49 minute flight. I'm thinking I'm golden, this shouldn't bother my back very much when all of the s...

You know it's time to adjust your filter when your surgeon asks you.. Him: Did you do anything unusual while you were in Ohio? Me: Uhm, yeah...in my freetime I did a little parasailing....

I went to my therapist today and she mentioned that she didn't think I was nearly as crazy as everyone has been telling me I am (can you see why she's my therapist). Is it bad that I almost asked her to write a note so I could wear it around my neck and show it off to other people for proof...

So I kinda gave up. I had a blog and it started out with happy, silly stories of my life and then I got sick. And tired. And let's call it what it was, grumpy. And my happy place just up and took itself somewhere else....and I struggled. And I couldn't write anymore because I thought that every one only wanted to read happy little stories about my life. And I wasn't happy.... So I quit. And I thought... And I doctored... And I tried to heal... And then this amazing thing happened to me last week. My back surgeon said to me "Melissa, you are handling this so well, I don't know how you do it. If it was me, I wouldn't be handling this nearly as well as you are, your attitude is really great." And when I got done turning around to see who the hell he was talking to I finally figured out he was talking to me. And for a few seconds I was impressed that someone who I respect thought I was handling a difficult situation well... And then I thought, well...I guess I...

The other day my mom and I were out shopping at Old Navy when the most adorable little girl rounded the corner. She stopped in her tracks and my mom and I proceeded to smile and wave at her. Now I have a 7 year old so I know the "don't talk to little children you don't know rule". Apparently my mom wasn't given the updated rulebook and went on to give a cheery, "Hi Sweetheart!" Which would have been totally normal if the 16 year old boy stocker hadn't thought she was talking to him. He immediately turned red and stared at my mom as if paralyzed by her words. When my mom finally figured out what was going on, she became very flustered and blushed herself. She turned the the boy and told him, "I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to her" at which point my mother turned to the little girl who had conveniently run back to her mother... And of course you all know me, I replied, "sure mom, you're just trying to pick up boys...we al...

Yes, I shall henceforth be known as Chicken Little... Last week I finally decided to chuck my therapist and psychiatrist. As you can imagine that wasn't a very easy thing to do. Ditching the psychiatrist alone was a 20 minute argument which was not pretty...funny, you would think when I said this isn't working for me there wouldn't have been 20 minutes to argue about... I have found a new therapist who deals with patients with chronic illness/pain and I'm looking forward to seeing how she can help empower me to finally come to some kind of terms with my illness. That said, I've had a serious week of breakthrough's (who knew I needed to get rid of my shrink to have this happen). For the past 3 years I have had a love/hate relationship with the word CAN. You wouldn't think a three letter word could make that much difference in someones life and yet you would be wrong. Every time I think "I can do this" it turns out something more like "I can...