Arthritic Critic

This is my back after my first surgery. See that loose screw there? That gave me bragging rights to a lose screw for 4 whole weeks. After all of my screws were tightened and in the right place my ankle started to really hurt. The kind of pain that makes you seriously consider cutting limbs off. I went for a few xrays and found that their might be some question if my ankle fusion had actually fused. By this time I had already been off Enbrel for almost 12 weeks due to both surgeries and my back surgeon worrying about infection and my back not fusing. Enter my bone stimulator. This is my bone stimulator and my corset...aren't you jealous? As you can imagine I've gotten quite a few interesting comments which I will share with you in my next post. In this post I wanted to tell you about the sales rep that brought it out to me. I was lucky enough to have a neighbor put up both of my Christmas trees. The sales rep came in and pulled out the stimulator, showed me how to use it and t...

Have you ever met just a good person? I have a chiropractor like this. He's just a really nice guy, he remembers exactly how many days its been since he married his wife, he always has a smile and a kind word and you can just tell that he's upwardly mobile and going somewhere...not to mention he just found out his wife is expecting. He is just really a joy to be around because life just hasn't kicked him in the shins enough to make him bitter. I went to get my hair colored today. I decided that I was going to have a few pieces underneath dyed purple (ok, they turned out mahogany but I still likey). I have a hair stylist that is just good people. She's Type A and not only does she do hair but she goes to school for nursing. When I told her the last time I saw her that I was freaking out about my health and thought about dying my hair purple she told me that I wasn't freaking out I was expressing myself. She makes an awesome stylist and I'm sure will make an extre...

I had an appointment with my foot surgeon today to check in and make sure all the last minute stuff was where it needed to be and that all my questions were answered. I've been having some problems with my left foot feeling like I'm walking on rocks in the ball of my foot. I told the doctor about it and he picked up my foot and said, "Oh my goodness, there really is a rock here." I looked at him with big eyes and said, "Really?" At which point he looked at me and said, "No!" After I finished laughing at myself I thought how gullible can one person be? I've looked for rocks in my socks for the past few weeks. Now if I had found a wocket in my pocket, that would have been quite odd...

I fell down the steps this week. Needless to say a few of my doctors needed to be updated so we could make sure everything was pretty much where it needed to be. These are two of the sillier conversations I had at my doctor appointments. Doctor: How many steps did you fall down. Me: Uhm, sorry...I didn't think to count them as I was falling down them...I fell from about the middle of 15 steps. Joe told me that the next time I fall he expects me to call out the steps like The Count on Sesame Street as I bounce down them. "One, one step I've fallen on...Ha!Ha!Ha! Two, two steps I've fallen on...Ha!Ha!Ha! Overheard at my physical therapy appointment. Physical Therapist: Well that's two steps backwards... Me: No, actually I think it was about 7 steps down... I think this might have to be a weekly post...

A few weeks ago I stupidly sat in an office and made a promise I couldn't keep. I promised that I would take the time to let my back heal and not have another surgery for 6 months. I didn't say those words with the idea that weeks later I would be taking them back...believe me if I could not have another surgery for 6 months I would happily go along living my life and trying to heal from the emotional and physical whirlwind I've been dealing with for the last 4 months (has it only been 4 months, it feels like about 4 years). Now I can't honor that promise and the person that I made it to is unwilling to listen to my reasoning so I thought I might write it down here and it would help me to remember that my choice counts and that maybe I'm not making a mistake by going ahead with the surgery. Hope has been having a hard time, she's struggling and she doesn't quite get what's going on. She understands that Mommy is sick but doesn't quite understand the ...

For some reason I think doctors walk on water. Maybe because I deal with so many of them...maybe because they can cut peopleopen and not kill them, maybe it's because I feel like they have all the answers that I'm scrambling so hard to find. I guess in my head, white coat = a person who is invincible and is never wrong. As you can imagine, I'm often disappointed when I find out that doctors are people just like me...except for the $150,000 school loan (and you know, the 12 years of education). Yeah, I got my answer today. My back surgeon is mad at me. This weekend I fell down the steps. One minute I was good and the next I was bouncing down the steps and trying to grab a hold of anything to make me stop (and no, I didn't count the steps on the way down...who knew I was supposed too). I managed to land right on my back, right where the incisions were. I also banged up my elbow pretty good though only one bruise...(I scraped it down the banister, I was sure that I had lef...

The past few weeks I've been talking with my therapist about separating a bit from my parents and doing things on my own. As a side item, one thing my shrink wanted me to do was to let my friends know "how sick I am." I tend to tell my friends a lot about my health but I don't really tell them when I'm wearing a boot, or using a cane or that my foot hurts so much lately that by the end of the evening I'm crawling around the house on my hands and knees. As you can imagine the need for ankle surgery has again been brought to the forefront. I scheduled it for March 17th. I casually mentioned to my neighbor that things were getting difficult and that I had added the boot and cane back into the mix and then threw in the crawling around the house. She took it well and it just didn't seem like a big deal. So I just thought, ok...it's no big deal. This is just all part of the disease of RA...this is my life, this is my normal, I can do this. So I've made ...

So this week I needed to buy a new pair of black pants. I'm not shopping much due to my ankle issues so I decided to run over to Old Navy and pick up a pair of chinos, in and out. I told Hope that I was going over... She looked at me and said, "Mommy, did you say you were going shopping at Old Lady?" Ouch....

I pick on my doctors quite a bit. I've been known to be funny, witty and downright obnoxious. Luckily, I have found most of my doctors have a pretty good sense of humor. Today I got my payback. I was sitting with my chiropractor getting my shoulder taped (kinesotape...it works awesome, ask your PT about it). We were talking about shoveling snow and how Joe ended up doing two driveways and hurting his back. Dr. Adorable (he is, I just want to pinch his cheeks) looks at me and says, "did I hear you right, did you just say you shoveled TWO driveways?" I looked at him and laughed and said, "no, that was Joe I was talking about." He said, "good, if not I was going to have to smack you upside the head." Touche...I think now he only has about a million more smack downs to put on me until we're even...

So we had 3 extra days off school this week due to snow, needless to say it was a difficult week around here. Take one sore mama and add one bored 8 year old and it equals a lot of chaos in a house not quite big enough for the two of us. I went out with a friend the other day and told her that Hope's attitude was getting difficult to handle. I told her by 8:30 I was ready to change my name because if I heard Mommy one more time I was going to rip my face off. She looked at me for a second and then asked...was that AM or PM? Which was really funny because at 8:30am I'm still in bed... I swear if this attitude gets any worse I'm going to start digging a tunnel in my back yard and hibernating through years 9 to 18...

I'm sure everyone knows by now that we got whacked with snow. I think all totaled we got something like 20 inches. The drifts are a good three feet high, some closer to 6 feet. Joe had to go out and shovel by himself because I am gimpy. By the time he got down to the end of the driveway the snow was easily over 3 feet deep. So our driveway ends in kind of a v. It's two car lengths at the top and a little more than one car length at the bottom. Due to a couple of back surgeries I haven't been driving since October. I started again about 3 or 4 weeks ago but last night was the first time I had driven at night. As you know, dark makes everything different when there are 6 foot snow drifts. So when I'm backing out of the garage I'm thinking I need to swing to the left and then I hear CRUNCH! And I'm thinking awe hell, what did I run over. Then it hits me, I hit a snow drift. I had already closed the garage door so I pull forward trying not to hit it. I throw it into...

So I think I mentioned that I had a really discouraging visit with a Rheumatologist at Cleveland Clinic.... I guess I thought that I was going to go there and they were going to magically snap their fingers and viola, make me better. Not so much, but what they did do was educate me about quite a few things that I didn't know about my RA. Like the fact that I have mild micrognathia (look it up, I had to), that my jaw problems are quite normal for someone diagnosed with JIA at 2. What discouraged me was the fact that my prognosis was poor. It is very difficult to hear that you aren't going to be miraculously healed...especially when that's what you are hoping for. That said, Cleveland Clinic really was beyond awesome. We stayed at a hotel right on campus, they ran shuttles from the hotel every 15 minutes. Which was awesome for us since Joe and I can't find our way out of a paper bag. We got out at the wrong building and someone helped us find our way and then we got to wa...

I can't even think of a cute title for this one..so that tells you how I feel about it. I've really struggled for a long time with what I can and can't do. In the past couple of years I have watched things that I could normally do go by the wayside. I've tried to adjust my thinking to being ok with the situation (even though I hate every minute of it). So I guess what I'm saying is that I've made peace with myself. And then something comes along that I'm just not willing to give up. Like a trip to Cleveland Clinic and I know I need to push myself really hard. The problem? I can't even push myself anymore, it just takes to much out of me...of course that could be because I had two surgeries less than 4 months ago...but who is counting? When I came home from Ohio I crashed, hard! I told Joe the next day when your animals feel like this we put them down, why can't we be humane to our people, too. Anyway, all of that goes before we had all of the snow th...

I scheduled a massage. I should know better. Guess what? No massage for me and a sore achy back for my hubby!! I'll only bore you with one picture...but do you notice what's missing here? That's a cul de sac...that hasn't been plowed and it's missing the street. I can't wait to find exactly where they are going to put all that snow. I'm so glad I didn't pay extra for one of those lots...ouch!!

My sister-in-law is getting married this year in September. She is marrying a guy we all love to death and they are going to have a humongous wedding. And maybe if I'm lucky I won't be wearing a cast, a boot or any other health related paraphernalia. So back to the wedding. Auntie J asked both her niece and her nephew to be in the wedding. Hope is going to be the flower girl and my nephew is going to be the ring bearer. There was a big deal at Christmas that J was going to ask Hope and N to stand up for her. She gave them each a bag with a ribbon and a button that said Flower Girl and Ring Bearer. Now Hope knew this was coming so she was totally thrilled. N on the other hand, has never been to a wedding and didn't know the question was coming. When Auntie J asked him, he kind of looked bashful and told her no...uhm oops, not the answer she was looking for. We kind of joked and told her that he just didn't want to wear a tuxedo...it was an odd moment. Then we moved on wi...